' Why Do Men Change After Sex"?

A mature single young lady came up to me and ask me this question : " Why Do Men Change after Sex? . I looked at her thoroughly and asked her ' Tell me what you mean by this'? What has been your experience?"

Hear her story;

' I meet a guy who I like, We are very attracted to each other- Lots of great chemistry. It doesn't take long before he is pushing for sex, and I want to have sex too. But most of the time I don't hear from him again after having sex. Even if I wait a couple of months to have sex, this still happens. They seem to be into me before sex and then completely lose interest after Sex, I don't get it". She moaned.

I look at her, then I asked her. Rossy what are you looking for in a relationship? 

 Hear her response  " What everyone wants_ someone to love me, to make me feel safe and secure, someone to make me feel good inside,|"

Hear my response........I said to her " Well, this is why men keep leaving you after sex. We attract people at our common level of woundedness. You are needy looking for someone to love you and make you feel okay. As long as you are needy , you will always attract another needy person. Like you, he is also hoping that you will fill him up and make him feel good. He is hoping that sex will do this for him and whenever it doesn't he moves on. And it never can, since feeling loved and full and good inside comes from loving ourselves-not from being  loved or from having sex.

" Until you learn to love yourself and take responsibilty for making yourself feel good inside, this will continue to happen."

" If i learn to love myself, why would I want a relationship?"

" To share Love, and to learn and grow with a partner. When you learn to love yourself, you have lots of love to share and you get great joy out of sharing it with a loved one. When you learn to  love yourself, you then attract a man who loves himself and the two of you are able to share love, which is the highest experience in life. There is a huge difference between trying to get love and wanting to share love."

Then the big question is? " How do I learn to love myself?"

" This is what the inner bonding process is all about. The first step is  learning to be aware of your feelings and wanting responsibility for them instead of looking to a man to take away your loneliness and emptiness, your anxiety, your insecurity. I understand, most of us were not loved in the way we needed to be loved, but all of us can learn to do this. I assure you, that you are capable of learning to love yourself. It takes time and practice to do this and it is the only way that you will eventually create a loving relationship with a man. It has to start with a loving relationship with yourself,...

 Readers what are your opinion on this issue? contributions, comment and personal experience are highly welcome on this blog...